Sometimes, the most important step in helping your teen is recognizing when they might need professional support. There’s no “perfect” time to seek counseling, but if you notice changes in your teen’s behavior or emotions, it’s a good idea to consider it.
Therapy isn’t just for extreme cases; it’s a great tool to help your teen understand their feelings, learn coping strategies, and get the support they need during difficult times. In this post, we’ll explore 11 behavioral signs and several significant life events that your teen might benefit from counseling.
1. Constantly Feeling Sad or Hopeless
Extended feelings of sadness and hopelessness could be signs of depression, which can deeply affect a teen’s mental and physical health. Left unchecked, it can interfere with their ability to function at school, in friendships, and at home. It also increases the risk of more serious issues like self-harm or thoughts of suicide which require immediate attention.
How to Spot It:
- They’ve lost interest in activities they once enjoyed.
- They talk about feeling “empty,” “worthless,” or like “nothing will get better.”
- They seem emotionally distant or disconnected from family and friends.
- They avoid social situations or cancel plans frequently.
- They say things like “What’s the point?” or “I’ll never be happy again.”
- They’re not motivated to do everyday tasks, like schoolwork or chores.
- They seem overwhelmed by things that used to be manageable.
- They don’t laugh or smile much, even in situations where they used to feel happy.
2. Major Mood Swings or Outbursts
Extreme mood swings can make everyday life feel like an emotional rollercoaster, creating confusion, frustration, and strained relationships. If this behavior is left unchecked, it can affect their social life, schoolwork, and their ability to manage stress.
How to Spot It:
- They go from calm to extremely angry or upset very quickly.
- Their anger seems out of proportion to the situation, like getting furious over something small.
- They have frequent outbursts, like yelling, slamming doors, or throwing things.
- Their moods change drastically throughout the day—one minute they’re happy, and the next they’re sad or angry.
- They seem to be more emotional than usual, crying, yelling, or reacting strongly to small things.
- They have trouble calming down once they get upset, staying in a bad mood for hours or even days.
- They become irritable and easily frustrated, even by things that wouldn’t normally bother them.
- They have difficulty expressing why they’re upset, or seem unaware of why their mood changed so suddenly.
3. Withdrawing from Friends and Family
Social withdrawal can be a major sign that your teen is struggling with their emotions, like anxiety or depression. It can lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and further emotional distress, making it harder for them to reach out for support.
How to Spot It:
- They stop making plans with friends and avoid social gatherings.
- They spend more time alone, often in their room, and seem disengaged from family life.
- They don’t share what’s going on in their life or seem disinterested in conversations.
- They avoid activities they used to enjoy, like going to the movies or playing sports.
- They seem distant or disconnected, even when they’re physically present with family or friends.
4. Changes in Sleeping or Eating Habits
Drastic changes in sleep or eating habits can be signs of emotional distress or mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, or eating disorders. These changes can affect their physical health and energy levels, making it harder to engage in everyday activities like school or socializing.
How to Spot It:
- They’re sleeping much more or much less than usual, often skipping school to sleep.
- They’re staying up late at night, having trouble falling asleep, or experiencing nightmares.
- They’ve stopped eating or are eating far more than usual, leading to noticeable weight changes.
- They seem fatigued during the day, even after a full night’s sleep.
- They’re skipping meals, complaining of stomachaches, or focusing on food in an unhealthy way.
5. Trouble with Schoolwork or Grades
School struggles often reflect deeper emotional or mental health challenges. If not addressed, this can lead to academic failure, frustration, and a lack of motivation. It can also hurt their self-esteem and make it harder to succeed in other areas of life.
How to Spot It:
- Their grades suddenly drop or they start missing assignments.
- They seem disengaged or distracted during school or when doing homework.
- They complain about feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork or appear anxious about tests and projects.
- They procrastinate or avoid school-related tasks altogether.
- They no longer care about school or seem indifferent to their academic progress.
6. Self-Harm or Talk of Suicide
Self-harm and suicidal thoughts are serious and need immediate attention. These behaviors are often signs that your teen is overwhelmed by emotions they don’t know how to deal with, and they may feel like harming themselves is the only way to feel some relief.
How to Spot It:
- You notice unexplained cuts, burns, or scars on their body.
- They express feelings of hopelessness or talk about wanting to die.
- They talk about feeling like they don’t belong or that no one would care if they were gone.
- They withdraw from activities or relationships, sometimes saying they’re better off alone.
- They make vague statements about not being able to cope anymore or about feeling trapped.
7. Engaging in Risky Behavior
Risky behavior is often a way for teens to cope with stress, emotional pain, or anxiety. However, these behaviors can lead to serious consequences like physical harm, legal trouble, or broken relationships. It’s a sign that they’re struggling with something deeper that they don’t know how to express or manage.
How to Spot It:
- They start experimenting with drugs, alcohol, or unsafe sexual activity.
- They engage in reckless driving or dangerous stunts.
- They make impulsive decisions without considering the consequences.
- They get involved in illegal activities, like stealing or skipping school.
- They seem to seek thrill or excitement without thinking of their safety.
8. Extreme Anxiety or Worry
Teens with anxiety may worry excessively about things that seem small to others, like a test, a social gathering, or making a mistake. Anxiety that goes unchecked can impact a teen’s ability to perform in school, maintain friendships, or enjoy social activities. If anxiety becomes overwhelming, it can lead to isolation or even physical health issues, like digestive problems or sleep issues.
How to Spot It:
- They worry constantly about everyday situations, like school or hanging out with friends.
- They avoid activities or places because they feel anxious or fearful.
- They complain of physical symptoms, like headaches, stomachaches, or trouble sleeping, related to anxiety.
- They seem restless, fidgety, or unable to relax.
- They have trouble focusing on tasks or conversations because their mind keeps racing with worries.
- They ask for constant reassurance from you or others to ease their fears.
- They get easily overwhelmed by stress, even if the issue seems minor to others.
- They seem constantly worried about the future, especially things they can’t control.
9. Difficulty in Relationships
Teenagers are learning how to navigate relationships. However, if they constantly argue with family members or friends or seem to have trouble making or keeping friends, it could be a sign that they’re struggling with their emotions.
Difficulty in relationships — especially if your teen tends to attract toxic relationships — can affect a teen’s self-esteem and emotional well-being. If they’re having trouble connecting with others, it can make them feel isolated or misunderstood. Healthy relationships are vital for emotional growth, so helping your teen navigate these challenges is crucial.
How to Spot It:
- They seem to fight constantly with family members or close friends, even over small issues.
- They seem to have trouble maintaining close friendships or might frequently change friends.
- They talk about feeling left out, rejected, or misunderstood by others.
- They have difficulty understanding other people’s feelings or responding to social cues.
- They withdraw from social activities or seem lonely, even when they’re with others.
- They’re overly critical of themselves or others, which can lead to tension in relationships.
- They get upset quickly in social situations or have trouble making new friends.
- They may act distant or untrusting, even with people they’ve been close to for a long time.
10. Loss of Motivation or Energy
A sudden loss of motivation or energy can be a sign of depression, which can have a serious impact on your teen’s mental and physical health. Without energy or motivation, your teen might fall behind in school, have trouble forming relationships, or feel stuck in a cycle of hopelessness.
How to Spot It:
- They seem uninterested in things they once loved, like sports, art, or hanging out with friends.
- They struggle to get out of bed in the morning or have trouble waking up for school.
- They’ve stopped participating in social activities or don’t want to leave the house.
- They don’t seem motivated to do homework, chores, or other responsibilities.
- They often complain of feeling tired or drained, even after resting.
- They might give up on goals or seem uninterested in planning for the future.
- They avoid talking about things they used to look forward to, like a trip or an event.
- They seem to lack energy for daily tasks, like getting dressed or taking care of personal hygiene.
11. Sudden or Extreme Changes in Behavior
Sudden changes in behavior often point to emotional distress. It could be a result of stress, anxiety, depression, or other mental health struggles. If these behaviors aren’t addressed, they can lead to more serious issues, like strained relationships, poor academic performance, or risky behaviors. Therapy can help your teen understand the causes behind these changes and learn how to cope with them in a healthier way.
How to Spot It:
- They act more secretive or withdrawn than usual, keeping to themselves more than before.
- They become unusually irritable, snapping at family members or friends for no clear reason.
- They engage in behaviors they didn’t do before, like skipping school or sneaking out.
- They stop talking about things they used to care about or avoid discussing their day.
- They start to change their usual routines, like staying up later, isolating themselves, or changing their friend group.
- They suddenly become more rebellious or start breaking family rules without explanation.
- They seem to act out of character, like becoming more impulsive or unpredictable.
- They may stop caring about things that once mattered, like personal appearance or hobbies.
Life Events When Your Teen Might Need Therapy
Sometimes, just experiencing certain life events as a teenager may warrant professional support. Even if your teen doesn’t show extreme behavioral signs indicating they need help, these experiences can be difficult for them to navigate and process on their own. Therapy can provide the guidance they need to cope and heal in real-time, minimizing risk of unresolved childhood trauma following them into adulthood.
Here are some key life events where therapy can be especially helpful.
- The Loss of a Loved One: Grieving the death of a family member, friend, or pet can be overwhelming and therapy can help process these feelings.
- Divorce or Separation of Parents: The emotional impact of divorce can be huge, and therapy can help teens understand and cope with these changes.
- Moving to a New School or Town: Adjusting to a new environment, making new friends, and dealing with changes can lead to stress or anxiety.
- Bullying or Peer Rejection: Experiencing bullying or feeling left out can significantly affect a teen’s self-esteem and mental health.
- A Major Family Conflict: Family arguments, tension, or changes (like a stepfamily) can lead to confusion and emotional strain.
- Serious Illness or Injury (Personal or Family): Coping with physical health issues, whether their own or a loved one’s, can cause stress, anxiety, or depression.
- Romantic Breakups: The end of a romantic relationship can leave teens feeling heartbroken, angry, or confused, and therapy can help them work through these emotions.
- Social Media or Online Harassment: Experiencing online bullying or pressure to meet social media standards can have serious emotional consequences.
- Substance Abuse (Personal or Family): Whether they’re struggling with substance use themselves or dealing with a family member’s addiction, therapy can help teens manage these situations.
- Trauma or Abuse (Emotional, Physical, or Sexual): Experiencing any form of trauma can deeply affect a teen’s emotional and mental health, and therapy can provide the support they need to heal.
- Severe Anxiety or Depression: If a teen is experiencing long-term feelings of anxiety or depression that affect their daily life, therapy is crucial for recovery.
- Identity Struggles: Teens may struggle with their identity, sexual orientation, or gender identity, and therapy provides a safe space to explore these feelings.
How to Approach Your Teen About Therapy
Talking to your teen about therapy can feel tricky, but it’s a critical step in getting them the help and support they need. Here’s some advice on how to approach the conversation in a way that feels respectful, open, and non-judgmental:
- Be Honest About Why You Think Therapy Could Help: Share your concerns without blaming them, focusing on their well-being.
- Normalize Therapy as a Positive Tool: Explain therapy as a healthy, normal way to get support, just like going to the doctor.
- Ask for Their Thoughts and Feelings: Open the conversation by asking what they think about the idea of therapy.
- Avoid Pressuring or Forcing the Idea: Let them know therapy is an option, but respect their feelings if they’re not ready.
- Highlight the Benefits of Having a Safe Space: Mention that therapy is a safe place where they can talk freely without judgment.
- Make It Clear That It’s for Them, Not You: Let them know therapy is about helping them feel better, not about fixing problems for you.
- Offer to Help with Finding a Therapist: Offer to help them find a therapist they’re comfortable with and be involved in the process if they want you to.
- Follow Up After the Initial Conversation: Check in after some time to see how they’re feeling about the idea, showing you’re supportive either way.
Support Your Teen’s Healthy Emotional Development
If any of these signs resonate with your teen, professional counseling can help. At Imagine Seattle, our mental health treatment programs provide a safe space for teens to explore their emotions, build coping skills, and work through challenges. Contact us today to learn how we can help guide your teen toward healing and growth.
